


Stay

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Loss, Drinking to Cope, Gay Panic, Gen, Hurt Magnus Bane, Parabatai Bond, Protective Jace Wayland, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 05:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Jace had never experienced a panic so deafening, so all-consuming that he doubled over where he stood and all the breath left his body, legs shaking and body thrumming with pain and anguish and most importantly fear. So much fear that Jace felt himself trembling with it, but he had nothing to be afraid of. He was safe in the Institute with Clary at his side and Izzy with a hand on his back, asking what was wrong.He hadn’t even managed to choke the word out before he was suddenly running through the streets of his city, his heartbeat hammering in his ears and panic forcing its way through his lungs but he needed to get to Alec, because he knew what emotions felt like when they were shared through their parabatai bond, and it must have been severe pain for Alec not to block it from Jace in the slightest.





	Stay

Jace had never experienced a panic so deafening, so all-consuming that he doubled over where he stood and all the breath left his body, legs shaking and body thrumming with pain and anguish and most importantly _fear_. So much fear that Jace felt himself trembling with it, but he had nothing to be afraid of. He was safe in the Institute with Clary at his side and Izzy with a hand on his back, asking what was wrong.

He hadn’t even managed to choke the word out before he was suddenly running through the streets of his city, his heartbeat hammering in his ears and panic forcing its way through his lungs but he needed to get to Alec, because he knew what emotions felt like when they were shared through their _parabatai_ bond, and it must have been severe pain for Alec not to block it from Jace in the slightest.

So Jace ran through the darkened streets of New York like his very soul depended on it- which he knew it did- until he watched the familiar sight of Magnus’s loft come into view, it’s brightly lit interior portraying none of the horrors Jace was sure to find within. When he threw open the door, seraph blade glowing in his hand, he hadn’t expected the sight before him.

Alec sat on the ground, legs tugged under him as he cradled Magnus’s face in his hands, a spreading puddle of blood pooling out from a large gash in Magnus’s middle, the large windowed doors that lead to the balcony were smashed in and glass shards littered the now ruined carpet as Magnus’s blood stained it beyond repair. Alec’s face was wet from tears and contorted into a picture of such pain that Jace felt it burning him from the inside out. Jace suddenly realized through the haze of surprise and the flood of emotions through their bond, that Alec was crying, sobbing brokenly over Magnus’s prone form, so Jace dropped his blade carelessly and fell to Alec’s side without a second thought.

“They- they broke in,” Alec shook as Jace’s arms wrapped around him. “Magnus… he tried to hold them off but they stabbed him and fled.” Jace looked again to the shattered window panes and wondered which of Magnus’s many enemies could possibly manage to get all the way to the balcony. “Jace- _I don’t know what to do_.”

Jace ran his hand up and down his _parabatai’s_ back and wondered if it was possible to die from another person’s pain. “It’s alright Alec, we’ll figure it out. He’ll be ok.” Below them, Magnus rasped another hitching breath and his eyes closed, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth like the beginnings of a centuries-old stream. Alec pitched over and wailed, hands fisted in Magnus’s shirt and it was all Jace could do to keep a hold of him.

For a moment, Jace watched as the slowly spreading pool of blood reached his knees and felt it soak into the fabric of his pants and wondered what would happen when Magnus was feeling well again and saw how much blood was on his favourite rug. Jace loathed to leave Alec but he knew that he would be no help to anyone if he just sat back and watched the rug be consumed by warlock blood so Jace silently detached himself from Alec’s side and went hunting through the house for a med-kit he wasn’t sure actually existed.

While Jace searched he kept one ear focused on Alec and his whispered prayers into Magnus’s skin and to the warlocks faint breathing. He was more than afraid that he wouldn’t find any supplies in an apartment occupied by a warlock and a Shadowhunter, both of which could heal themselves without the use of mundane medical equipment but Jace also knew that if he couldn’t find anything, Magnus would have to heal himself with the remaining amount of energy he had within him, as runes didn’t work on Downworlders, especially those who were part demon. Just when Jace was debating calling Isabelle to come to the loft with a first aid kit, he found one wedged in a cupboard, hidden behind unused cookbooks and dusty knickknacks.

Jace rushed back to his brother’s side and fell to his knees beside them, trying to ignore the sound of the blood squelching at the impact and shoved Alec’s hand away from where he was applying pressure on Magnus’s abdomen. Jace used the limited medical knowledge that he had to wrap the thin bandage and the few pieces of gauze around the wound, which was admittedly much larger than Jace originally thought. “That’s all I can do with this,” Jace said regrettably when he was done and placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Is there anything else that you can think of that might help?”

Alec’s wide eyes searched the room in panic as he tried his absolute hardest to think of anything that might save the man he loves until they stopped on a small child’s toy in the corner- a blonde haired doll with a pink dress and ballet shoes. “Catarina,” he breathed. He turned to Jace. “Can you call Catarina?”

Without a word, Jace stood and sprinted towards the phone where he imputed Alec’s password and turned away into another room. He searched through the list of contacts until he landed on the right name and called the number, not quite sure what to expect. A slightly annoyed woman answered the phone and Jace tried not to snap at her with impatience. “Look, Alec, I know I said you can call whenever but I’ve just finished work-”

“Wrong Shadowhunter,” Jace said, glancing back at Alec and Magnus. “Alec said you could be useful so we need you to come down to Magnus’s loft.”

“Listen Shadowhunter, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but I don’t take orders from you. Put Alec or Magnus on the phone.”

Jace bit his lip to stop the snarky retort from leaving his mouth. He didn’t know this woman but he knew it would get them nowhere if he was rude. “I’m Jace, Alec might have talked about me. Magnus is in big trouble and Alec is panicking, so if you have a way to help Magnus, we really need you down here. I’ve done what I can but I don’t think he’ll make it with just a few bandages.” He paused. “Please. We really need help.”

Catarina paused on the other end of the line and Jace waited with bated breath. “Let me tuck Madzie into bed. I’ll be there soon.”

She hung up the call and Jace rushed back to Alec to tell him the news. Alec only nodded, half listening, and held tight to Magnus. Jace held Alec close to him and tried to share some of the pain that was flowing unbridled through their bond. Jace didn’t think he had felt so much pain and heartache from Alec in the entire time they’ve been _parabatai_.

A few moments later a dark-skinned woman in a set of hospital scrubs with her hair tied up in a top knot stepped through a portal and paused. “Oh shit,” she hissed as she threw her bag on the floor and sped to Alec’s side. She gripped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. “Alec, darling, I need you to calm down. It’s not going to help anyone if you’re crying into the wound.” Alec nodded and took a few stuttering breaths that hurt Jace to watch but when they didn’t seem to be working, Catarina turned to Jace. “I can’t work with him here. Take him to the other room and see if you can calm him down.”

Jace knew she wasn’t being unkind and that she was probably right so he took hold of Alec’s elbow and half dragged him to the other room and closed the door just as red magic spouted from her fingertips and into Magnus’s body. Alec buried his face in his hands as the door shut and Jace wrapped his arms around him and held him tight as he wept. In all the years that Jace had known him, he had never seen Alec so hysterical.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, Jace’s arms wrapped around Alec with one hand snaking into his hair while Alec shook against him and sobbed into his shoulder, drenching his shirt, but eventually Alec did calm down and he paced around the room impatiently. Jace watched him from where he leant against the wall, giving his brother space, but when Alec suddenly and unexpectedly shouted and threw an ornate vase across the room where it shattered on impact with the wall, Jace strode forward and gripped Alec’s hands in his. “He’s going to be fine, Alec. Catarina will take good care of him.”

“I wish there was something I could do,” Alec whispered, hands glued to their intertwined hands. Jace felt hatred and disgust forcing its way through their bond like a tidal wave and knew it wasn’t coming from him. “I wish I had done something before. I should have been quicker to grab my bow or pushed Magnus out of the way or just done anything at all instead of standing there like I haven’t been trained for such a thing all my life.”

“It sounded to me like it was more of an ambush than anything else,” Jace said gently, trying to coax Alec away from the emotions of blame and self-hatred that he was feeling. “If Magnus didn’t have time to stop it with his magnitude of magic then I don’t think you had a chance. Do you remember what they looked like? Who they were?”

Alec shook his head and ran his hands up and down his arms. “I’ve never seen them before in my life. I’m not sure Magnus has either but I’ll have to ask him.” He paused. “It wouldn’t be a vampire though. No vampire in New York would touch Magnus, otherwise, they’d be punished by Raphael.”

“Well, that’s a start,” Jace placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “When we get back to the Institute I’ll ask Izzy to take a look.”

“Ok.” Alec nodded and closed his eyes in a vain attempt to get his emotions under control and for a moment the flowing river that Jace felt shooting through him dulled for a moment until it became a gentle stream. Whether that be because Alec was trying to block their bond or because he was genuinely calming down, Jace wasn’t sure. “Yeah, sure. We’ll be fine. Catarina will help him and we can forget about this day and act like it never happened.”

“Exactly,” Jace agreed despite knowing that probably wasn’t the best way to deal with such an experience, but for now he was willing to indulge him. “You’ll get on with your lives and this day will just be in the rear-view mirror.”

Threading his hands through his hair, Alec took a shuddering breath through his nose and turned away from Jace. “I need a drink,” he murmured as he slowly paced the room with his hands still on the top of his head.

Jace frowned at him as he walked to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of something Jace couldn’t really identify in the dark and watched him take a few deep sips before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, placing it back and locking the door. “But you don’t drink.”

With a deep breath, Alec shook his hands through his hair and placed his hands on his hips as he walked back towards Jace “I do when I’m stressed, or I have to deal with mum or Magnus wants me to try something new. And I don’t know about you, but this counts as a horrible circumstance in need of a drink.”

Pursing his lips, Jace placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder and steered him towards the table setting and forced him into one of the chairs. “Well, stop stressing then. Catarina’s here and you know she would never let anything happen to Magnus. You need to calm down,”

Alec glared at Jace but it had no heat. “Would you be able to calm down if it was Clary in danger and you knew that there was nothing you could do to save her?” Jace looked away, ashamed. “Exactly. It’s easier said than done.”

“Well, I can’t say I wouldn’t be worried as well,” Jace conceded. He hit Alec in the chest with the back of his hand and Alec looked down at it in annoyance. “But come on man. What happened to Mr ‘Gruff and Composed’? You’ll both get through his and everyone will be alright.”

“I hope so,” Jace had laced his hand in Alec’s and as he spoke, Alec focused on the gentle rubbing of Jace’s thumb against his skin. “I just… I hate seeing the people I love in pain when there isn’t anything I can do about it. I hate being useless and I hate being so weak.”

Jace wanted desperately to reassure his _parabatai_ that being loving someone did not mean they were weak but his father’s teachings- no, Valentine's teachings- rattled around in his head like a broken mantra, _to love it to destroy and to be loved it to be the one destroyed_ and Jace knew Alec would call him out on it, so he kept the words to himself. “Loving someone is hard,” Jace began and Alec looked at him quizzically. “Sometimes relationships are more trouble and effort than they’re worth, but I know that when you find someone, someone who really loves you, the effort won't mean anything.”

“Where are you going with this?” Alec asked with a slight upward tilt to his lips and Jace felt great validation at being able to bring some joy into such a dark situation. “I hope you’re going to make a point and not just ramble on about the depth of love.”

“Don’t rush me,” Jace laughed, moving his chair so it was next to Alec’s. When they were side by side, Jace pulled Alec’s head onto his shoulder and ran his fingers through his hair. “All I was going to say is Magnus isn’t going to leave you any time soon- not through a breakup and not through death. You know how I know that?” Alec hummed in question. “Because he loves you. I can see it in his every move. And the way he looks at you… I have never been so happy that you have found someone who loves you like that, Alec. So Magnus isn’t going to die on you because he wouldn’t leave you alone to suffer. Not if he has something to do about it.”

Suddenly, there was such a rush of emotions through their bond that Jace almost gasped. Gratitude. Relief. Understanding. Adoration. Emotions that were so different than what Jace had felt at the beginning at the night that he almost wanted to scream with how happy he was. They weren’t perfect- he could still feel those bright emotions darkened and muddied by fear and despair and doubt but Jace knew that Alec was finally beginning to really calm down. “Yeah,” Alec’s voice was soft and Jace had never heard him speak that way about anyone, not even him or Izzy and he couldn’t even find it within himself to be jealous. “It’s nice to be loved. I’m still… getting used to it. It’s hard letting someone love you when you feel like you don’t deserve it.”

“But you do deserve it,” Jace promised and he tried to force as much reassurance through their bond as he possibly could. “You have always deserved it. And maybe the reason Magnus has closed himself off for so long is that he thought the same thing you did, but I promise you, you are worthy enough to be loved. And if I’m being honest, I’m glad you chose Magnus. Or Magnus chose you- either way, I’m glad. I’ve never seen you so happy as when you’re in Magnus’s arms.”

Jace felt the intake of breath from his _parabatai_ beside him as he went to answer but an exhausted voice from the other side of the door broke their quiet reverie. “Alec?” Instantly, Alec was on his feet and dragging Jace towards the door and Jace couldn’t really identify the emotion in Catarina’s voice past the bone-tired fatigue but he felt Alec’s hand shaking in his.

When they opened the door, they were met with a white-haired warlock with light blue skin in hospital scrubs, swaying heavily on the floor beside Magnus. Jace almost did a double take because he had never seen Catarina without her glamour and it was still an odd thing to see a warlock’s mark when it was usually hidden- like an invasion of privacy. Alec, undeterred by her appearance, dropped to his knees beside Magnus. “Is he going to be ok?” his voice was so quiet that Jace wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him close to his chest.

“He’s going to be fine,” Catarina reassured, placing a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “There isn’t much I can do for him now, but he’s going to get through this and soon enough he’ll be his usual magnificent self. But right now, I think he just needs rest.” She nodded to the bedroom. “Do you think you need help carrying him to bed?”

“No thanks, I’ve got this. You’ve done more than enough.” Alec scooped his hands under Magnus’s prone form and swept him up with the ease of someone who had done it many times before and he tenderly carried the warlock to their shared bedroom.

Catarina collapsed on the floor and ran a hand down her face. “That man,” she sighed. “I have known him for thousands of years and every time I come and visit him, he still comes up with new and extreme ways to make me worry about him.”

“That sounds like Magnus.” Jace reached a hand out and helped Catarina stand, placing a hand on her arm to keep her steady when she wobbled. “Thank you for that. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“You would have sat there floundering as Magnus bled to death on the rug,” Catarina said, eying the rug in question. “Magnus is going to be so disappointed. He had a certain love for that hideous carpet that I could never understand.”

Jace laughed and pulled away when he was sure Catarina was stable and shoved his hands in his pockets instead. “I can’t say that I’m a fan of his décor either. But seriously, Catarina- thank you so much for coming over to help with such short notice. I know you have a very busy schedule and you have Madzie to worry about as well. Do you have enough magic left to portal home or would you like to crash here for the night?”

“Oh, Blondie, I have enough magic alright,” Catarina winked and Jace stepped back with a smile. “And besides, I don’t really think that’s your offer to give.” She raised her hand but paused as the beginning of a spell sparked at her fingertips. She turned to Jace and her expression was barren of the joviality it had before. “You look after them, Shadowhunter- you take good care of both our boys, you hear? They need all the help they can get. And because you and Alec are basically attached at the hip, I need you to be my eyes and ears for me when I’m not around. Understand?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Jace nodded, extending his arm for Catarina to shake. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

With one last, calculating glance at Jace, Catarina nodded and shook Jace’s hand before turning back to her spell. It opened up in the living room, bathing the furniture with a dazzling glow. She called out a swift goodbye to Alec who shouted a paired one through the walls and after winking at Jace one more time, she stepped through the portal and disappeared from sight.

When Jace was alone in the room he blew out a slow breath from his nose and made his way to the bedroom. He rapped gently on the door. “Hey, Alec?” He called through the wood. “I’m going to head home now. I can feel that you’re obviously exhausted and now that Magnus is alright you don’t have anything to worry about, so I’ll leave you guys in peace.”

The door opened before Jace had any chance to react and strong arms wrapped around him, muscular from many years of pulling back bow-strings. “Stay,” Alec whispered into his skin. “Don’t go yet. Stay here for the night. We’ll all go back in the morning.”

“But- Izzy…”

“I’ll call her and let her know everything’s alright,” Alec murmured and Jace held tight to the back of his shirt. He felt sorry for the way Alec was forced to bend down to embrace the people he cared about, but Alec never complained. “Just… stay with me. For tonight. I don’t think I can be alone after what just happened and I know that Magnus will be just beside me but you know it’s always different when you’re around. Please.”

Jace did know what it was like and knew that Alec had been there for him to follow through with that exact same request, so who was Jace to deny him this one moment of comfort? It was the least Jace could do to repay him for all the times he’s been by Jace’s side. Besides- he never could say no when Alec begged with that voice. “Of course, brother. I’ll be in the spare room if you need me.” Jace tried to pull away from the embrace but Alec’s arm’s held him tight. Jace made a confused sound at the back of his throat.

“Not yet,” Alec said, his arms tightening around Jace’s torso with such determination and want that Jace felt the breath rush out of him, not because of the sudden pressure on his lungs but just from the pure feeling of _need_ that he felt coming from his brother. “Just… stay.”

So Jace did.


End file.
